Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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