you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize