Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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