Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
