my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
