but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
