I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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