You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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