Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
