Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
