he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
