I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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