is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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