Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
