how can u be prego again
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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