i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
