I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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