One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
