I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
