five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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