Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize