Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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