New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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