did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
