"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize