You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My ass is underappreciated
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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