I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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