bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Terrible idea I love it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
