I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
