Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
