The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize