You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Found the puke drawer
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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