The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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