So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.