Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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