we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize