What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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