I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish i was in the wii world.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
