Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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