I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
