and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
