Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize