Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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