you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
