we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
