DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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