its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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