Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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