If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
