Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
