He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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