I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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